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MzEmy

my criminal justice professor is hilarious.

we’re talking about the “scared straight” program, and he’s talking about how he got put in it as a youngster. and how had he even gone to prison for real, he’d have been someones bitch and passed around to all the bubbas.



jamalas:

this morning my mum and her friend were yelling at me to get down stairs in a hurry

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ahh

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what are you doing?





  • You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
  • Stranger: hi
  • You: hello
  • Stranger: don't come with that "asl" bullshit on me, pls
  • You: do you have a banana phone?
  • You: yea, I hate asl
  • Stranger: ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
  • Stranger: ring ring ring ring ring BANANA PHOOONE
  • You: lol
  • You: o.o
  • You: what have I started???!!!
  • Stranger: don't u know this music?
  • You: vaguely. :o
  • Stranger: it kinda rocks
  • Stranger: hehe
  • You: I heard it like three years ago.....the only thing I remember is banana phone :)
  • Stranger: what in hell is a banana phone, anyways?
  • You: sooo.......this world nowadays, huh?
  • You: lol I have no effing clue
  • Stranger: where r u from?
  • You: USof A
  • You: lol
  • You: u?
  • Stranger: hahaha, sounds neat
  • Stranger: i'm from brazil, southern brazil
  • You: wow that is amazing :)
  • You: I'd love to visit.
  • Stranger: what part of the old glory are u in?
  • You: FL
  • Stranger: flo rida
  • You: lol
  • Stranger: stuppidest "pun" ever, maybe
  • You: I can't stand that "rapper"
  • You: seriously.
  • You: someone had absolutely zero creativity when they asked him what he wanted to be known as.
  • Stranger: just for the sake of internet standards, r u a dude or a gal?
  • You: gal
  • You: u
  • You: ?
  • Stranger: dude
  • You: cool
  • Stranger: how old?
  • Stranger: lol
  • You: lol so much for no asl :P
  • You: 21
  • You: u?
  • Stranger: yeah, exactly what came to my mind
  • Stranger: 26 here
  • You: thats cool.
  • Stranger: so, what do u do up there?
  • You: well......right now nothing :/
  • Stranger: no work, no studies?
  • You: I'm looking for a job.
  • You: and I start classes in january because I took a semester off.
  • Stranger: uhm, i c
  • You: I was living in Puerto Rico with my grandmother and then I decided I wanted to come back to florida to give it a second try.
  • You: how about you?
  • You: lol, wow. I sound incredibly lazy.
  • Stranger: i'm graduated in advertising, currently working as a graphic designer
  • Stranger: but i'm looking for another job, something better...
  • You: :o that's cool. :)
  • You: o, well, that happens :)
  • Stranger: yeah, it does, hehehe
  • You: lol
  • Stranger: and what do you study?
  • You: I started after high school to study culinary arts, but a year into it I decided it wasn't for me so I switched to forensic science.
  • Stranger: heeey now, that is something
  • You: what is?
  • Stranger: that choice for forensics
  • Stranger: must be amazing
  • You: yea, I've always loved the CSI shows and Bones. plus I am weirdly morbid so I decided to give it a go.
  • You: and the more I get to know about it, the more I love it and know it is for me :)
  • Stranger: hehe
  • Stranger: nice indeed
  • You: mhm
  • You: do you have any idea what you would like to go for now?
  • Stranger: have you ever watched that tv show called fringe?
  • You: omg yes.
  • You: so weirdly amazing.
  • Stranger: well, sort of... the thing is, i like what i do, but the money isn't that great atm
  • You: oh okay, I get you.
  • Stranger: yeah, i'm looking for something in the same area, or close to it that can pay me more
  • You: but why wouldn't the money be good? I mean, isn't advertising and graphics like all it is about atm?
  • Stranger: i couldn't really say for sure. but there's a lot of ppl doing that now
  • Stranger: it's getting saturated very quick
  • You: oh, so aside from not very good money wise now it is overly competitive?
  • Stranger: and specially where i live, the companies don't give much attention to publicity
  • Stranger: not just yet, i'd say
  • You: mmm okay
  • You: would you ever consider relocating?
  • Stranger: but soon the market will be over competitive
  • Stranger: yeah, i'm doing that now... and maybe i'll move by the end of this year to somewhere else
  • You: I just keep on thinking about the future, and how when I finally graduate and am looking for a job, how much I would loooove to move to a different state if not a whole new country :)
  • Stranger: i believe i'd like to move to somewhere in the us
  • You: or like, end up working for the FBI or CIA somehow.
  • You: well, if you do florida, stay in the big cities like miami, orlando or tampa.
  • Stranger: i've been there once, early last year
  • You: yea?
  • Stranger: spent like 2 months in las vegas
  • Stranger: and 1 week in chicago
  • You: wow. how'd you like those places?
  • Stranger: vegas is weird, hehehe
  • Stranger: definitely not a place to live in
  • You: lol, yea it doesn't seem like a very home-y place.
  • Stranger: chicago was nice and all, but still i haven't been there long enough to be sure
  • You: yea, to be really sure of a place you have to spend more than a week there. more like a month :)
  • Stranger: true
  • You: but who has the money to take off of work and stay somewhere a month to figure it out nowadays?
  • Stranger: indeed
  • You: so aside from english, do you speak spanish? or is it just portuguese in brazil?
  • Stranger: it's too much of a big decision to go rushing by
  • You: yes it is.
  • Stranger: brazil speaks only portuguese, as native language
  • You: but sometimes doing things spontaneously is the way to go. especially if you are alone, and have no one else tagging along with you.
  • You: ok.
  • Stranger: all the other south american countries speak spanish
  • You: oh okay.
  • You: I wish I knew portuguese.
  • Stranger: i'm not a spanish pro, but i suppose i can take care of myself
  • Stranger: lol
  • You: it sounds a bit like spanish, but at the same time I know it is harder
  • You: asi que si te empiezo hablar en espanol sabras lo que te estoy diciendo?
  • Stranger: yeah, some things are very alike in both languages
  • Stranger: si, te entiendo
  • Stranger: hehe
  • You: a pues que bueno. por que yo hablo mas reboluses en espanol e ingles de que hablo coherencias en un idioma.
  • Stranger: "spanglish"?
  • You: lol yes.
  • Stranger: lol
  • You: I once did an entire job interview in spanglish.
  • Stranger: spanish is kinda hard as well, specially when it comes to dialects
  • You: l o l
  • You: you would love my dialect. :D
  • You: you can totally tell I"m puertorican.
  • Stranger: hehehe
  • Stranger: but that's nice, in a way
  • Stranger: the puerto rican spanish is any close to the mexican?
  • Stranger: *is the...
  • You: nope. not at all.
  • You: it is closer to the cuban and the dominican republic spanish. sort of.
  • You: although the accents are totally different.
  • Stranger: i suppose they all must be very different from the argentinian spanish
  • You: yes it is.
  • You: wow, incredibly so.
  • Stranger: once i met a mexican dude, here in brazil
  • You: I had an argentinian friend and I would have to have our conversations in english because I could not understand her.
  • Stranger: and i tried to speak a little spanish with him, to learn some from their dialect
  • You: and how did it go?
  • Stranger: better than expected in my opinion, but sometimes i found myself pushing a little too hard on my spanish knowledge
  • You: lol
  • Stranger: so i had to go portuguese, and he couldn't understand much of it
  • Stranger: hahaha
  • Stranger: but anyway, it was a curious situation, to say the least
  • You: I can imagine so.
  • Stranger: actually
  • Stranger: it all started with that dude getting lost around the city, and stopping to ask for directions
  • You: lol.
  • You: that must have been incredibly fun.
  • Stranger: hehehe, certainly... but at the end we were drinking a couple beers together and sharing life experiences at a nearby gas station
  • You: I detest beer.
  • Stranger: lol
  • You: give me hard liquor any day :)
  • Stranger: stupid question, but, do you guys use the word "cabron" in puertorican?
  • You: yes we do :)
  • You: well, my mother told me it means cuernudo......do you know that word?
  • Stranger: yeah
  • Stranger: we have a similar cursing word in portuguese
  • Stranger: although i don't know if the "weight" of it is the same as yours
  • You: but nowadays people over there, myself included, use it more as in a "bro" kind of way.
  • Stranger: i see
  • You: what does it mean over there?
  • Stranger: well, literally it means "horn", but as a slang it means a man who got cheated on by his woman
  • You: yup exactly :)
  • Stranger: and what does "cabron" mean?
  • You: well it is a slang for cuernudo.
  • Stranger: but it's originaly used as a bad word, right?
  • You: but again I say, now it is used like if it was another word for "brother" or "nigga"
  • You: yes.
  • Stranger: gotcha
  • Stranger: what about "chingado"?
  • You: lol. why is conversation so much easier with a stranger?
  • You: chingado idk.
  • You: chingando is sex.
  • Stranger: i understand in mexico they use the expression "hijo de una chingada" to curse
  • You: lol that is a new one for me.
  • Stranger: i'm supposing it could mean "puta"
  • You: yea, puta is the one we use.
  • Stranger: same in portuguese
  • You: what about "mamabicho"?
  • Stranger: never heard that one
  • You: "bicho" means penis.
  • You: "mama" means suck
  • Stranger: lol
  • You: lol I use that one alot :/
  • Stranger: "bicho" means animal or creature in portuguese
  • You: lol oh
  • You: aun siendo nena soy increiblemente mal habla.
  • Stranger: hahaha
  • Stranger: teach me another one
  • You: "pendeja"
  • Stranger: this one i know
  • Stranger: lol
  • You: lol
  • You: "carajo"
  • Stranger: this one also
  • You: lol
  • You: idk
  • Stranger: do you use "boludo"?
  • You: nope.
  • You: what is that one?
  • You: ooo.......do you know "chichar"?
  • Stranger: in argentinian spanish it's kinda the equivalent for "asshole"
  • Stranger: nope, what does that mean?
  • You: huh learned something new :)
  • You: it means fuck......like To fuck.
  • You: chocha?
  • Stranger: nope
  • You: lol......umm............
  • You: slang for a girls crotch o.o
  • You: as well as crica.
  • Stranger: you mean the crotch or the vagina itself? lol
  • You: lol ummmm I'm actually not sure on that one.
  • Stranger: i know "concha" is the slang for "vagina" down here... in spanish
  • You: I just think it means the more derogatory "pussy" :o
  • Stranger: i see
  • Stranger: lol
  • Stranger: hey, very nice talking to you
  • Stranger: but i gotta go
  • You: lol. you too.
  • Stranger: it's getting pretty late
  • You: yea, I am getting kind of sleepy.
  • You: what time is it over htere?
  • You: *there
  • Stranger: 3:10 am
  • You: o wow.
  • You: okay, good night
  • Stranger: good luck with your stuff over there
  • You: thank you.
  • You: you too :)
  • Stranger: thanks!
  • Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Tagged as: omegle, brazil, funny, banana phone,





"

“LOL” convo with my bro.

-sex helps you lose weight, that’s why married people are skinny.
me: some -______-
-ohh, that’s why fat people are fat they don’t get none.
me hahaha xD

"

(via steven92)


wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yea :)



So many fandoms, so little time.
Plus a few random personal bits added in there for some spice. If you really want to get to know all the different aspects of my personality, try finding my other blogs.





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